Thursday, 19 June 2003

I'd rather be anywhere else but here

My boredom threshold has crashed. It seems to be inversely proportional to the good summer weather. Its also a crucial time - a year and a half into a job - the challenge has smoothed out because the systems introduced have bedded down and the chaos has cleared up somewhat. I've reached a plateau where I'm waiting for the next struggle to rear its ugly head. And the unresolved problems are so slow burning that their lifespan makes them feel unresolveable.

I want to make shoes! Have an Emporium d'Harriet. Write books. Live on holiday. Lay in the sun. Have sex all day (boredom does this to me - my mind wanders). Live by my natural sleep patterns. To not need a diary or a watch.

At these times I need action, results to happen, completion - the motivating factor of success will drive me on. Instead I am left with the slightly dissatisfying motivator of money - which is only really a good motivator for a couple of months after a payrise.

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