Things I'd Forgotten About Tube Travel

1. That when two colleagues manage to travel together they will discuss relatively private things with one another even when you are standing with your face 10cm away from one of theirs.


2. That in the above situation it is quite appropriate to look the other way whilst earwigging and they will pretend you can't hear their conversation.


3. The Metro - just enough of a read to keep one occupied for 3 stops.


4. In crowded trains, a person who is vertically challenged may well lean on you for support when they can't reach the handrail. So far I've had a very obnoxious woman do so and today a short man who felt it was ok to lean back on me completely.


5. City men like oxen - broad of shoulder and feet planted like rocks (no chance of moving one inch to allow other passengers to board).


6. Staking your place on the platform, hoping to be exactly right for when the doors open to let you on. Jostling for a better position when the platform is too crowded to get on the current train in readiness for the next train. Flashes of irritation when someone who came after you jostles you out of your prime position (bastards - obviously better practised at it or with wider shoulders).


7. Women doing a full make-up routine whilst the tube rattles down the tunnel (yukaroo).


8. Which end of the platform the exits are and the corresponding carriage doors to enter through in order to maximise speed of exit from the station (have now got it back down pat for interchanges at Old Street to Northern Line and London Bridge for mainline rail, and exits from station at Peckham Rye, still working on it for Bermondsey Jubilee Line).