The Office Toilet

Before we moved into this office the three units we occupy were refurbished. They put in the regulation number of toilets for the number of workers likely to be working here. There are 2 in next door's unit and 2 in ours. They have wooden toilet seats (slightly more upmarket than the usual I've been used to at work). But in the year that we have been working here we have had to replace the loo seats in both the mens and womens once and they are now broken again. This is not because we are using them too often.

I have thought about it long and hard and decided that it must be to do with the quality of the bowl itself. Let me explain. On my toilet at home (just for comparison) the bowl has a lip that is flat - the rim of the toilet bowl is at the same level all the way round. At work the toilet bowl's rim is angled downwards to the inside - so the outer rim edge is higher than the inner rim edge (i.e. the rim slants into the toilet). When you buy a toilet seat and install it - especially a wooden one which has plastic feet underneath that are flat on the bottom - you find that after a couple of sittings the feet tend to make the seat slip into the bowl slightly on one side and off the outer rim on the other. This gradually causes wear and tear on the plastic bolt (I'm sure these used to be metal) and it eventually snaps leaving you with a seat that is hanging on by one bolt. This is now a health and safety hazard (I have reliably been informed) because when you sit down, the seat is level but jerks to the side quite violently and could throw you off. This lobsided loo seat then develops a crack in the centre front which can trap your skin if you are not careful. Eventually the other bolt breaks. We now have no loo seat at all.

I am wondering if we will be able to find a loo seat that will not do this on these inferior toilet bowls. I suspect manufacturing companies have not thought to design a seat with angled feet to adjust to the sloping rims. Something to think about if you ever consider upgrading your bathroom suite...(trying hard not to be anal here - failing miserably most likely).

We have paranoia mirrors in the loos - they were bought from IKEA (UGHH - just mentioning it brings me out in a rash), they have a lovely wooden frame which is about 20cm thick all round and the mirror bit is about 15cms square - VERY small. They were bought by our Chief Executive - obviously not a man who needs to worry about bad hair days (he is practically bald). In order to see the whole of oneself one has to do a circular motion with one's head and shoulders. They were put up by a Handy Man, who must have been 6 foot tall, at his own eye level - one of the women working here is 5 foot 3 - she hasn't a hope in hell's chance of seeing herself in it. I can very easily see the top of my head, everyday I see the creeping grey hairs shimmering out of my dark crown at me. Thats all they are good for - examination of the inevitable onslought of grey. Either its that I can see them more easily in these mirrors cos they are so high up or my job is turning me grey. Can't decide. Everyone says they don't notice them, but I know they are there - because I can SEE them. (Am I sounding paranoid yet? Thought so).

IKEA - shopping for the masses - it just goes against my rhythm of life to have to follow the crowd and I always end up wanting to go back to something (I don't do it on purpose, its just the way my mind works) and upon turning round am faced with the rows of endless shopping trolleys marching forward - I feel like I am in one of those 1st world war movies where the man is sending his troups over the trenches to inevitable death row after row after row. I just can't get into the swing of the route thing. Its probably a personality flaw.