Signs of Love No.1
The Hickey

Loved by the school-aged teenagers who need a visible symbol of their 'dating' (much as the ring has become for the engagement of adults) that will last for approximately the same amount of time it takes for them to become bored with one another (two weeks perhaps).

On my travels this week I have seen two adult (late 20s, early 30s) men with hickies on their necks. Worn with pride, no attempt to cover them up. Nasty oval red bruises with yellow outsides, fading speckledly back to skin colour. Definite sign of damaged flesh.

So what is it about these men that their women folk (I'm making a massive assumption) seem to want to eat them alive? Is this a sign of passion, or a gross insecurity which requires them to mark their territory? Resurgence of vampirism?

I suggest a clove of garlic, cut in half, the open side rubbed on the neck. Protect yourselves before its too late.