Wednesday, 1 September 2004


I maybe ought to write something but its all been a bit personal and introspective recently. When I got back from holiday I was asked to come to an interview and was then offered the job (this makes you feel good because they want you). My sister had a baby yesterday evening so I have a nephew to add to my auntie duties now. The sky is blue. And I don't feel like I have anything to say.

Its a round and round kind of thing. I have goals. I know what they are but at the moment while working towards them it feels circular like chasing your tail - you never quite catch it.

And then I get delusional. Like wouldn't it be nice to do something that really made a difference. That you would be remembered for. Or, wouldn't it be nice to buy a house or building that needed rennovating and making it into the place of your dreams. Or, wouldn't it be great to have a really fast car and flash around all over town. Or, wouldn't it be great to own your own business (I have for the last 10 years been trying to think of an appropriate venture but my ideas aren't quite right yet) and it make you millions of pounds (or maybe just a couple hundred thousands).

And sometimes I think it would be nice to own a small cottage overlooking the sea with a plot of land to grow vegetables out the back. Only I think I'd get very bored very quickly with this dream.

Having been in a constant state of flux for the last 10 years I don't know how I haven't come any closer to narrowing down my ambitions. There is silver coming through my dark brown hair now, not visible to anyone but me (unless they look really hard), and I'm worried about running out of time!

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