Office Party

Well, its that time of year. They always promise so much and provide so little. We had the obligatory overly-pissed can't handle the alcohol type. We had the grumpy drunk at the end of the evening demanding a cab home. I was at the heart of an incident where one fellow accused me a trying to grab his balls (he should be so lucky, and if I had really been trying to do so, don't you think I'd would actually have done it?) and then he made me laugh just as I took a mouthfull of drink which was sadly sprayed all over some poor unfortunate who took it very well. And I wasn't even drunk (honestly I wasn't).

HS was telling a story about her plumber and how he had asked her on a date. It was a close call due to the joy of having hot water from the basin tap but she turned him down when she found out that actually he didn't have a van - he used a people carrier (she took it as a sign that he was probably married with several kids).

The most embarrassing office do I was ever on was at a Mexican restaurant in Greenwich where we had had a brilliant deal of £15 per head for a 3 course meal and a tequila slammer thrown in at the beginning. We had to teach the boss how to do a slammer - when everybody else tossed it back she took a dainty sip and screwed up her face (doesn't actually taste that nice sipped). Later a man who was sitting at the bar sent me over a glass of sparkling white wine with his phone number (and in front of all the people I worked with, many of them terrible teasers, it was majorly hard to live down. And I had done nothing to court this kind of thing. Really I hadn't).

But I've never worked in a place big enough to have people snogging in corners and meeting their life's love or behaving so badly as to be dismissed. Perhaps thats a good thing. A mark of restraint. And I would really hate to work in The Office. Really I would.