Mr Bean Goes to an Interview

We interviewed a candidate today who was a cross between Mr Bean and David Attenborough (easy on the Attenborough - heavy on the Bean).

He arrived from the test (this was testing their ability to extract data from a number of sources - one woman sat the test and then ran from the building before the interview) with his flip chart presentation and talked though what he had done as if it was an actual presentation to the board (this is what our contract says, this is what we will have to do). He was wearing a brown suit that could have belonged to his dad - right fabric, right style, wide brown necktie. He professed to having never left a job before - always the company has either gone bust or his contract has finished and so wasn't sure of the protocol in telling the boss whether you are going to an interview beforehand or not. He had the temperament of a 15 year old techie who has spent rather too much time with Lara Croft and his programming pals. His answers to questions were like long shaggy dog stories where he would go off on a tangent of interest and totally off the point.

He had obviously spent too much time in male dominated environments where women were only ever secretaries. He kept talking about his boss (as in: I would expect to be told off by my boss if I did...). He had done some work with the production line to produce an efficiency calculating programme (for fun as an additional task) which involved him working with their manager who although wasn't on the production line himself was always covered in grease.

He twitched. In both eyes - probably nerves.

I think he made those kinds of jokes that techies do where they are deadpan but you end up laughing with them (and then realise that perhaps you are laughing at them by accident).

So in the end when asking questions to the panel and having clarified the nature of the job he started to realise that my boss would be his boss (a young blond woman, who happened that day to be wearing a just over the knee high skirt) - You're the boss? You'd be my boss (eyes light up), my current boss is 59 and a bit y'know humph. Where are you from? (she's got a Scottish accent) Where's that East or West coast? I think it dawned on him then that perhaps he shouldn't have assumed that the only bloke on the panel was the boss.

Me thinks he hasn't been for many interviews. My advice would be, when in an interview try not to leer at any of the panel members who may be your possbile future line manager.

And in a very unprofessional few moments after the interview the interviewing panel creased into uncontrollable hysterics.