How to Put on a Hat

The hat in question is a chinese / cuban communist style cap - made of gingham(y) cotton. You are oriental in appearance. The method is as follows: scrape back the top central part of the hair several times, sort of flattening it out; put the visor onto the forehead and pull the back firmly onto your head; pat the top fo your head to make sure the hair underneath is flat enough; pull out some good sized chunks on either side to act like sideburns - scrape them forward of your ears - a la seventies mid-length-hair-man; check flatness on top again.

This is the thing that has always put me off hats - they are sooo much work! And if you then want to take it off - the hair horrors underneath!