Monday, 19 February 2007


How long does it take for a house to feel like home? My initial excitement at buying is long over (even before the completion in fact). The shock of the empty house left when I started pulling up the red carpets. The drive to make it mine was strong when I first got the keys but it waned over christmas.

I feel safe in my house and it has the mod cons necessary for a comfortable life. But, it isn't feeling like home yet. Perhaps because there are still things at my dad's - books mainly. Perhaps because there are boxes still piled up in the upstairs rooms. Perhaps because I'm still sleeping on the futon and haven't moved back into my bedroom after having guests at christmas. It all feels a bit temporary. And blank. Pictures. It needs pictures.

Perhaps its the let down of it all - while its nice having a your own space to do with what you please, it's just a house. I only get to be in it for any length of time at the weekend. Maybe there hasn't been enough time yet. It also feels chaotic. I'm probably craving organisation. Finished-ness. Dare I say perfection. Too many house magazines with all their perfect rooms, dressed with everything just so, not a thing out of place, everything in its place (those magazines aren't real - nobody in them actually lives like that, obviously, its all just for the shoot). They're supposed to be aspirational, I suppose, but just make you feel bad (feed the dissatisfaction!)

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