Things I'd Forgotten About Driving (and some things I never knew)

Some time ago (and I can't remember exactly), its likely to have been around 1999/2000 I was in a car accident with my dad's little automatic Renault 5 (black shiny paintwork - very beautiful little car that I liked to keep clean with those jet wash things - it wasn't fast but it went from A to B). I was coming home from dropping off the boyfiend at about 1.00am driving along Stapleton Hall Road past Victoria Road when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a car coming along Victoria Road wasn't going to stop at the junction and sure enough he slammed into the back right-hand side of my car forcing me over a metal bollard into the brick wall of a house. Happily I was only superficially injured - whiplash, sore ankle and lower back injury which is mostly ok now if I remember to sit correctly. The car however, faired badly and was written off. When the boyfiend arrived at the scene of the crash it was all I could do to stop him knocking the block off the other bloke (good job the police got there first). Anyway, pops has never replaced the car and neither have I.

The only driving I do now is in rentals - mostly in foreign countries - France, America, South Africa or vans to help pals move house (don't know why but I'm about the only driver I know in a circle of friends in need - maybe I have a lot of fearful friends of nervous disposition, or something).

This Christmas hols Bails and I rented a car to go up north. At the car hire place on Christmas Eve after a 2 hour delay they persuaded me to get an upgrade (from a small car) to a Peugeot 307 Estate (don't know WHAT I was thinking - I've never driven a car that big - a van yes but not a car). Its a nice big car. Wide. Long. Hard to see the front end and the back end for parking. Comfortable though. Space - tonnes of the stuff. Pockets - full of them - lots of space for rubbish and cds. Powersteering (now theres a true revelation - can spin the wheel with one finger the steering is so light). Can go at great speed with great ease (staying within the speed limit was really quite a task of will). My fears with such a big car included parking the damn thing, getting through narrow gaps, having to turn around. All of which were much less of a problem than I imagined thanks to the powersteering.

So from our journey up and down the country I remembered some things that happen on the road that I'd forgotten about:

• Speed limits. Ever heard of them? No? Neither have the majority of people on the motorway, making it seem safer to go with them than against them. However some people drive considerably faster than the speed limit - especially those in Audi's, Mercedes and Volkswagen polos or golfs, and anyone in a sports car, particularly the mid-life crisis middle aged man (sorry about the type casting). Best to let them get on with it.


• Some men hate to be overtaken (cat and mouse games ensue).


• Its horrible to be stuck behind something that you can't see round - having to trust the driver ahead to be signalling appropriately. And there are an awful lot more things that you can't see round - not just lorries and coaches but four wheel drives, jeeps and those cars with stupid high roofs with tall windows.


• People have forgotten how to use indicators (if they ever knew).


• And the joy that is remembering those people who believe that driving up your arse with their lights shining in your mirror is the best way to tell you to get out of their way.


• Fast lane hogs who have to cut across all the traffic to make an exit. Plan ahead springs to mind.


• Stopping distance. Did you swot up on that bit of the highway code? Or bank on the likelihood of being asked that question as minimal (oh the good old days of that part of the test being a couple of questions from the examiner at the end). All I have to say is we saw a couple of multi-car crashes, although not terrible ones.


• Lane weaving boy - zig zagging across the road and back again in an attempt to get ahead.


• The tres considerate habit of cutting back into your lane too soon after overtaking particularly in snowy or wet conditions spraying your windshield with lots of road residue.


• Fifth gear - having been thoroughly back-seat driven by my sister I embraced 5th gear properly (having only ever had a car with 4 gears before, and living in the city, therefore not needing a 5th, and only being taught on a car with 4 gears etc etc I rest my case). You live and learn (though the merciless ribbing was not necessary, really, never one to miss an opportunity my sister).


• Never, NEVER, overtake a gritting lorry. Even when he's in the hard shoulder and you're in the fast lane two lanes away (hopefully they won't notice the dink in the windshield made by that very big piece of grit that flew across the road and hit us (now I'm sure that there ought to be a machine that measures the size of grit and extracts the STONES, but maybe thats a future technology).


• Watch out for walls when reversing under pressure. Full carload, new years eve, dark. What can I say? Guilty - the bumper scrape they will notice but hopefully that will distract them from the windshield.

Boy its good to be home. Back to public transport. Much less of a responsibility.