The Tall Tale Telling Man

He was in customs and excise, importer of coke, his mate across the table was one of his customers and they'd been there since 11.00am and he'd chopped out a line that reached the whole length of the table, and his other mate always got the leftovers. Implausable.

So his mate was an artist and the other one was a probation officer and he did grafitti. And actually he was his probation officer because he'd just been inside for doing grafitti, and his artist friend was finding representation for him at a gallery. Funny but still implausable.

He had amalgamated lifts embroidered over his shirt pocket. Apparently Amalgamated Lifts was a company who provided a service to commuters on the underground, very popular on Mondays. Giving support to overtired commuters trying to shake off monday blues. Sponsored by Homepride he had to wear a hat like the Pilbury Doughboy. He was gonna show us, but then decided it would have to wait for later.

Not sure I've ever met someone before who couldn't utter a true word. He was funny but we had other places to be, so we left him and his two untalkative mates with their £100 bar bill and went off to pastures new.